Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny Marriage Quotes, so you are searching for some funny marriage quotes and sayings to have fun with your friend or spouse. If yes, now you don't need to search for them any more. As here I have compiled down some of funniest funny marriage quotes for you. Just hope you will like this quote compilation and crack some of these quotes to make people laugh or annoyed.

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny Youngman

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Never forget the nine most important words of any family- I love you. You are beautiful. Please forgive me.
H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. Wodehouse

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein

Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.
Jonathan Franzen

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West

Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.
Oscar Wilde

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.

Marrying means to halve one's rights and double one's duties
Arthur Schopenhauer

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx

If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.

My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Joyce Brothers

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.
Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate.
Dodie Smith

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?
Barbra Streisand

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
Margaret Atwood

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones

One should always be in love. That's the reason one should never marry.
Oscar Wilde

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.
Robert Frost

When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
William Shakespeare

Husband is the head of the family and wife is the neck that turns the head around.