Short and Funny Quotes

Searching for short humorous quotes for your twitter or facebook walls. Now no need to search for them. Here I have compiled some of the popular and random short funny quotes about love, life, and happiness, just for you. Hope you like my quote compilation and share some of these random short quotes with your friends.

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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin

Happiness is a warm puppy.
Charles M. Schulz

So many books, so little time.
Frank Zappa

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein

Nice dress. Take it off.
Janet Evanovich

Reality continues to ruin my life.
Bill Watterson

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
Winston Churchill

Tomorrow is a promise to no one.
Clint Eastwood

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Charles M. Schulz

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
Douglas Adams

Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.
John Green

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Bill Watterson

Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.
Mark Twain

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Mark Twain

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.
Oliver Goldsmith

Room service? Send up a larger room.
Groucho Marx

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.
Joss Whedon

Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts
Jim Morrison

I don't like lollipops.
Eoin Colfer

If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl.
Kelley Armstrong

It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.
Andrew Jackson

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.
Jasper Fforde

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!
Warren Ellis

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Bill Watterson

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
Scott Adams

I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.
Jarod Kintz

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Irina Dunn

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
Orson Welles

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
Dorothy Parker