Searching for some random funny quotes about woman. Now no need to search for them any more. Here I have compiled down some of the best funny quotes about women, just hope you like them and share them with your friends.
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Irina Dunn
Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.
Satchel Paige
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Anonymous
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
Steve Martin
She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
C.S. Lewis
You're only a man! You've not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!
Georgette Heyer
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.
Kay Ingram
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
Will Rogers
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Albert Einstein
Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Anonymous
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Anonymous
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Anonymous
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
Jane Austen
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.
Neil Gaiman
I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Madonna
She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.
Conan O'Brien
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
Oscar Wilde
It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
Jarod Kintz
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| Funny Women Quotes |
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Irina Dunn
Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.
Satchel Paige
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Anonymous
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
Steve Martin
She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
C.S. Lewis
You're only a man! You've not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!
Georgette Heyer
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.
Kay Ingram
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
Will Rogers
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Albert Einstein
Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Anonymous
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Anonymous
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Anonymous
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
Jane Austen
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.
Neil Gaiman
I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Madonna
She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.
Conan O'Brien
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
Oscar Wilde
It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
Jarod Kintz