Funny Wedding Quotes

Searching for some funny wedding quotes, now no need to search for them. Here I have compiled down some of the funny wedding quotes. Just hope you like this quote collection and share some of these quotes about with your friends.

Funny Wedding Quotes
Funny Wedding Quotes

The Wedding March has a bit of a death march in it.
Brian May

Husbands are like fires. They go out if left unattended.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Joey Adams

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Eddie Cantor

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
Carrie Snow

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
H.L. Mencken

A gloomy guest fits not a wedding feast.
Friedrich Schiller

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Ogden Nash

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

Those are the men who will dance at your wedding.
Guy Madison

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
James Thurber

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman

Marriage a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
Beverly Nichols

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Joey Adams

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
Jean Kerr

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
Jean Kerr

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
Oscar Wilde

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.
Phyllis Battelle

A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
Helen Rowland

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence!

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.
Margot Asquith

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor