Funny Humorous Quotes

Searching for some funny humorous quotes to say or write down on your walls. Now you don't need to search for them any more. Here I have compiled some of the best funny humorous quotes, just hope you like them and share them with your friends.

Funny Humorous Quotes
Funny Humorous Quotes

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Mae West

He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face.
Shannon Hale

So many books, so little time.
Frank Zappa

People, generally, suck.
Christopher Moore

The planet is fine. The people are ***ked.
George Carlin

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
George Bernard Shaw

Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Albert Einstein

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Dr. Seuss

Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.
Rick Riordan

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
Terry Pratchett

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin P. Williams

I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Oscar Wilde

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Dorothy Parker

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx

A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar.
Carolyn G. Heilbrun

No good deed goes unpunished.
Oscar Wilde

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Mae West