Funny Dog Quotes

Searching for funny quotes about dogs. now no need to search for them, here I have compiled some of the best funny quotes about dogs. Just Hope you like them.

Funny Dog Quotes
Funny Dog Quotes

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
Andy Rooney

God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann Landers

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
Samuel Butler

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous Huxley

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S. Truman

Every dog must have his day.
Jonathan Swift

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
Jack London

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.
Camille Paglia

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg

The dog is the only animal that has seen his god.

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
Woodrow Wilson

The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Will Rogers

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
Christopher Morley

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.
Adam Smith

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend. The first to welcome, foremost to defend.
Lord Byron

From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.
Mabel Louise Robinson

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
Jay Leno

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
Corey Ford

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.
O.A. Battista

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash

Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves.
Karl Kraus

The dog that trots about finds a bone.
Golda Meir

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
Franklin P. Jones

The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man.
Robertson Davies

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
Will Rogers

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney