Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes i.e. searching for some funny and humorous quotes which can bring a little smile or laugh on your beloved face. If yes, now you don't need to search for them anymore. As here i have compiled down some of the best humorous quotes for you. Just hope you will like the quote compilation and add some humor in your conversation or facebook status with these quotes.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400"]Humorous Quotes Humorous Quotes[/caption]

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A. Milne

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein

Reality continues to ruin my life.
Bill Watterson

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Dave Barry

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
Dr. Seuss

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Douglas Adams

So many books, so little time.
Frank Zappa

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
George Bernard Shaw

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Jerry Seinfeld

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.
Joss Whedon

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Mae West

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain

A true friend stabs you in the front.
Oscar Wilde

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
Stephanie Klein

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Thomas Jones

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Thomas Stephen Szasz

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Winston Churchill

Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.
William Somerset Maugham

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
William Shakespeare

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Wilson Mizner

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

A short skirt is not always enough to get a boy's attention.