Funny Love Quotes

Funny Love Quotes
Funny Love Quotes
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
Cathy Carlyle

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.
Dudley Moore

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck

It is impossible to love and be wise.
Francis Bacon

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Henry Kissinger

The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Israel Zangwill

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you. And she never did.
James Fineous McBride

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron

The only people who make love all the time are liars.
Louis Jordan

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Milton Berle

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby…
Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
Oscar Wilde

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita Rudner

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
Shelley Winters

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
Tommy Dewar

I don’t trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.
Vincent Gallo

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
W. Somerset Maugham

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor