Funny Family Quotes

Searching for some random funny quotes about family. Now no need to search any more, here I have compiled down some of the best random funny family quotes. Just hope you like some of these quotes and share them with your love ones.

Funny Family Quotes
Funny Family Quotes

The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.
Jay McInerney,

A family is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living.
Charles R. Swindoll

Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.
David Ogden Stiers

God did not intend the human family to be wafted to heaven on flowery beds of ease.
Frank Knox

They say genes skip generations. Maybe that’s why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable.
Joan McIntosh

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope

Never have children, only grandchildren.
Gore Vidal

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.
George Santayana

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -they are your family.
Jim Butcher

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw

When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck

Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.
Rick Riordan

Being a detective isn’t all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant…The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.
Derek Landy

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.
Matt Groening

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.
Mary Karr

My uncle’s dying wish he wanted me on his lap….He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to.
Dodie Smith

I am an only child. I have one sister.
Woody Allen

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
Douglas Adams

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible…and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
Charles Dickens

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
George Bernard Shaw

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.
Shakespeare

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Theodore Hesburgh

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.
Alex Haley

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.
Elizabeth II

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
Francis Bacon

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intendedand not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.
Robert Frost

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